Judge grants three-year restraining order against Lexington city councilwoman for sexual assault

A Fayette Circuit Court judge ruled Wednesday that Lexington City Councilwoman Brenda Monarrez sexually assaulted fellow councilwoman Denise Gray and issued a three-year protective order barring Monarrez from contacting Gray.

Additionally, Monarrez must stay 500 feet from Gray’s home and the Lexington Government Center, where both council members work.

Fayette Circuit Court Judge Traci Brislin issued the ruling after a seven-hour hearing Wednesday that ended around 8 p.m.

“I believe a real sexual assault took place and it could happen again,” Brislin said. “The court finds that this occurred on not one, but two separate occasions.”

Sexual assault under state law also includes sexual abuse. No criminal charges have been filed against Monarrez.

It was not immediately clear Wednesday evening whether Monarrez would continue to work from home and appear virtually at Lexington-Fayette Urban County Council meetings.

Edward Cooley, Monarrez’s attorney, said after the hearing that they planned to appeal Brislin’s decision. Cooley said it was unclear how Monarrez would carry out his duties on the council while the protection order was in effect.

Cooley said they will talk to Lexington-Fayette Urban County government.

Gray and Monarrez testified at Wednesday’s hearing to determine whether a temporary protection order granted in August should become permanent.

Gray wrote in an Aug. 8 petition seeking an interpersonal protection order that Monarrez had been sexually aggressive toward her twice in three years.

An interpersonal protective order is a civil order that protects a victim from someone accused of abuse or harassment.

A Lexington police detective said Wednesday that the case remains under investigation.

In the complaint, Gray, 45, wrote on Aug. 1 that the two first-term council members went out to dinner.

Monarrez, 52, allegedly tried to give Gray alcoholic beverages. When Gray dropped her off, Monarrez “tried to kiss me. I tried to push her away several times,” the complaint states.

Monarrez then tried to grab her crotch, she said.

“I was scared and upset,” Gray said in the complaint. Gray said she yelled at Monarrez and Monarrez eventually entered her home.

“I never gave him consent to touch me in a sexual manner,” Gray said in the complaint.

During Wednesday’s hearing, Gray, who cried at times during her testimony, testified that Monarrez continued to lean toward her during the ride from J Alexander’s, where they had dinner and several drinks, to her home. Monarrez.

“Bitch, are you bent over?” Why are you leaning here? Gray said.

After pushing Monarrez aside, she said Monarrez then reached up to touch her vagina through her clothing.

Gray also wrote in the Aug. 8 complaint that in October 2021, she had a birthday party and invited several friends, including Monarrez. In the complaint, Gray said, “She provided me with drink after drink (and) offered to drive me home. While she was driving, I lost consciousness.

Gray wrote that when she woke up at Monarrez’s home, Monarrez was performing a sex act on her.

Gray said that the next morning, Monarrez finally took her to his car which was left at a bar called Cocktails, where the two spent much of the night.

Gray said she admitted to socializing with Monarrez on several occasions after the incident in October 2021. She said she felt like she had done something wrong.

“I thought it was my fault,” Gray said through tears Wednesday. “I didn’t say anything because I thought it was my fault. My name is Denise Gray. I am strong. I’m smart. I never put myself in situations where I am out of control.

Gray called Councilwoman Shayla Lynch directly after the Aug. 1 incident. Lynch testified Wednesday that Gray was so upset that she became concerned about her driving and made her pull over so she could tell him what happened.

Lynch, an attorney, is also the former executive director of the Ampersand Sexual Violence Resource Center, which provides services to victims of sexual assault. Lynch encouraged Gray to report the incident and also referred her to services for survivors of sexual assault.

“She was very, very upset and blaming herself,” Lynch said. “I encouraged her. It wasn’t his fault. She was the victim here.

On cross-examination, Cooley asked Lynch how often Lynch, Monarrez and Gray socialized. Lynch said all three socialized outside the city’s government center, often dining and having drinks together.

Cooley also asked Lynch if Gray kept alcohol in his office.

Gray did it, Lynch said.

“Does she drink during labor?” asked Cooley.

“Sometimes,” Lynch said.

Gray said that after the August incident, she went to Mayor Linda Gorton and Chief Administrative Officer Sally Hamilton. Both told her that because she is an elected official filing a complaint against another elected official, the city’s human resources department could do nothing to protect her.

She eventually went to the Lexington Police Department and filed an order of protection, she testified Wednesday.

Monarrez denies attacks; blames Gray for his drinking

Monarrez testified Wednesday that no incident occurred and Gray was intoxicated on both occasions.

Monarrez testified that Gray drove Monarrez’s car after having several drinks on the night of October 13, 2021, to her then-boyfriend’s house at 3:30 a.m. Monarrez said the plan was for Monarrez to stay with her boyfriend that night and Gray would take his car to Gray’s home.

Her boyfriend didn’t come to the door, so Gray drove them to Monarrez’s home, Monarrez said.

Monarrez said that when they arrived at her house, she put Gray in the room of her daughter, who was in college. She was sleeping in her own room. She took her son to school in the morning, then came back and brought Gray home.

Cooley said the two met more than 30 times between the October 2021 incident and the August incident. The two even went to two musicals together in Louisville and Cincinnati.

Monarrez said Gray never told him about the October 2021 incident.

Cooley produced text messages between Monarrez and Gray a day after the October 2021 incident.

Monarrez said Gray was angry with her on the night of Aug. 1 because she didn’t want to go with Gray to another bar after leaving J Alexander restaurant.

During her court testimony, Gray said she only drank two spicy margaritas that evening. Monarrez and a server at J Alexander testified that Gray had a spicy margarita and three other margaritas.

Gray said Monarrez kept ordering her more drinks, but she wouldn’t drink them. The waiter said he saw Gray drinking three margaritas and that Gray ordered them.

Monarrez also produced a text message that Gray sent him after 3 a.m. on the night of August 2. In the text message, Gray said she felt violated. She told Gray that she was not a lesbian and did not want to have any further contact with Monarrez.

Gray also demanded an apology.

During her court testimony, Monarrez said she had recently undergone surgery. She couldn’t see well, one of the reasons Monarrez asked Gray to drive that evening.

Monarrez said she woke up because her nose and sinuses were bleeding and saw the text message. Monarrez said she only saw part of the message — the part where Gray said she was upset.

Monarrez replied: “I am sincerely sorry.”

Monarrez said she thought Gray was upset by her refusal to go to the bar with Gray.

Raven Turner, Gray’s attorney, also questioned Monarrez about his drinking.

Turner asked if Monarrez had been banned from two different restaurants because of her drinking. Monarrez denied being barred from a restaurant.

In 2013, Monarrez was sentenced to 14 days in jail after a charge of alcohol intoxication was merged with two cases of driving under the influence of alcohol in 2012. She said in 2022: “I regret the actions that took place approximately 10 years ago or more. I have moved on and am living a life of love, honesty, appreciation, kindness and strength.

SMS and payment for drinks

In his ruling, Brislin said it was common for victims to return to their abusers.

“I believe this is a traumatic reaction on the part of Ms. Gray,” Brislin said.

Brislin said Gray’s 3:08 a.m. Aug. 2 message to Monarrez clearly indicates a sexual assault occurred. Monnarez’s explanation that she couldn’t see the entire message made no sense, she said.

“It’s a question of credibility,” Brislin said. “Unfortunately, Ms. Monarrez, I don’t believe you today.”

Brislin also rejected claims that Gray was too drunk and misremembered the events.

“That doesn’t mean what she said happened or didn’t happen,” Brislin said.

Monarrez and Gray also testified that Monarrez usually paid for dinner, drinks and other outings. It’s disconcerting, Brislin said.

Monarrrez testified that Gray was struggling financially and still living with his parents. She, too, struggled financially at times and had friends who helped her. She wanted to do the same for Gray, she said.

Monarrez and Gray earn the same salary, Brislin noted.

The decision comes less than a month before the November 5 general election.

Monarrez faces challenger Emma Curtis in the race for the 4th District, which includes neighborhoods south of New Circle Road, between Nicholasville and Tates Creek roads.

Gray, who represents the 6th District, has no challenger in the general election.

Council races are nonpartisan.