What is Rebecca syndrome? The relationship-killing mental illness that stems from childhood trauma

Jealousy is ab—h.

Psychotherapists are warning that Rebecca syndrome, also known as ‘retroactive jealousy’, is having a frightening impact on relationships, as experts notice a rise in inquiries about the condition.

In a recent blog post by psychotherapist Toby Ingham, he describes patients with Rebecca syndrome as those who become “obsessed” with their partner’s ex-partner.

Psychoanalyst Dr. Darian Leader was inspired by Daphne du Maurier’s 1938 gothic novel “Rebecca” when he invented this condition. The novel tells the story of a young woman who exhibits behaviors that signal insecurities in herself and in the relationship. She develops traits of jealousy after discovering information about her partner’s exes.

According to Ingham, the psychological buzz term has been gaining interest in Google searches since 2018, with patients self-diagnosing their “obsessive problem.”

“This is not a good idea,” Ingham wrote online.

Signs of the condition can be identified when a partner becomes jealous of their exes or previous sexual or romantic relationships.

People who suffer from this condition will find themselves comparing their appearance, intelligence, and sexual intimacy to that of their past lovers. Rebecca syndrome can make people insecure and question everything about their relationship.

Fixation contributes to obsessive neurosis, which “describes a state in which the mind is invaded by compulsive words, images, or ideas. These uncontrollable, obsessive thoughts dominate the mind,” Ingham detailed in the online essay.

Ingham admits that retroactive jealousy does not arise from a relationship; it comes from childhood.

‘Although these early problems are unique to each of us, they may, for example, be linked to feeling neglected by a parent who preferred one of our siblings,’ Ingham told MailOnline . “Or maybe issues with feeling like we weren’t important or excluded in our biological family.”

The expert added that people tend to project their insecurities and personal issues into their current relationships, which can harm the dynamic.

“Ask yourself if your anxiety, your intrusive thoughts that you feel less important to your partner than their former partner, may really be related to your own past rather than your current relationship,” Ingham continued.

An interview-based study conducted in 2018 found that social media encourages retroactive jealousy because users can easily verify details of their partner’s past relationships. However, Ingham advises people to avoid conversations about the past if they can’t leave it at that.

“Don’t ask about your partners’ pasts, especially their sexual histories, oversharing at the start of a new relationship often comes back to haunt us,” he concluded to MailOnline.