We are swingers but still in a monogamous relationship – we tell everyone, even though my son goes through hell at school

A COUPLE who swing together say it’s not cheating because they are sexually polyamorous but emotionally monogamous.

Lacy M and her husband Dan, both 40, joined the swinging community after their respective marriages broke down.

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The couple met on a swingers dating app and, after becoming official, decided they wanted to continue swinging and “explore” their sexuality more.

But the couple admit they get jealous when their partner is with other people – and will talk about it.

“For me, I wasn’t necessarily looking for a life partner,” says Lacy, a content creator from Nashville, Tennessee.

“I enjoyed the swinging lifestyle, but it was nice to have someone who I could still be free to live that life and have that relationship with.”

Dan, who also works as a content creator, reflected on meeting Lacy after his divorce.

“I was a lot like Lacy, we were both in a long-term relationship and I was married for 13 years – she was married for seven,” he says.

“When Lacy and I first met, I was jaded by the whole system.

“I was totally against relationships at the time, but through constantly talking to Lacy and meeting her, my opinion changed.”

Dan has two children and Lacy has one from their previous relationships.

“I had been single for a few years and had several long-term relationships that didn’t work out,” Lucy recalls.

“The last guy I dated told me there was a club where people could go and have sex and you could watch.

“The idea of ​​watching and being watched definitely excited me.

“I started researching the swinging lifestyle and joined a swinging website. The rest was history.”

The couple first met on a swingers site in 2019 and began messaging.

At the time, Dan said it seemed “sketchy” because he wasn’t seeing “beautiful” single girls on the app.

“She messaged me first and I was skeptical because you don’t see a lot of beautiful single women on these sites,” he explains.

“I wasn’t sure but we chatted a bit and exchanged a few photos.

“Later that night she came into my hotel room and she was a very real person.”

The couple continued to exchange messages before going official in September 2019.

After four years as a long-distance couple, they moved to Nashville, Tennessee and started a life together.

We are emotionally monogamous but very sexually non-monogamous.

Lace M

Although they were a couple, Lacy and Dan wanted to continue living as swingers.

“For me, I loved the opportunity to explore my sexuality,” says Lacy.

“I love exploring these things with my partner, we are emotionally monogamous but very sexually non-monogamous.”

“The sex is great, the orgies, couples swapping and hooking up with single women are amazing – but the community is amazing too,” Dan added.

“If you’re an adult between 30 and 60, there aren’t a lot of social things people can do.

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“Swingers don’t care, half the people who come to parties come for the party and aren’t there to have sex.”

Lacy and Dan said boundaries are important when it comes to swinging.

They are always in the same room, all communication with people is done via group messaging and they always wear protection.

Despite the limitations, Dan and Lacy said they might experience jealousy from time to time, but it was natural.

“Jealousy is a feeling – it all depends on how you deal with it,” says Lacy.

I can get jealous when he is gentler with girls if he rubs her face or back or kisses her passionately.

Lace M

“I can get jealous when he is gentler with girls, if he rubs her face or back or kisses her passionately.

“For me, it’s making sure I tell Dan that it bothers me.

“The problem comes when you have those feelings in the heat of the moment and you make a scene.”

The couple said swinging is a great way to build a network of friends and they will regularly meet up with friends they have met in the community.

“Meeting and connecting with new couples can be difficult, so we often rely on our longtime friends,” says Dan.

“We have a lot of couples that we’re friends with benefits with and there’s a lot of emotional connections there, much like anyone is friends with.”

Lacy and Dan said their family was generally supportive of their lifestyle, but some family members were shocked at first.

My father is a real supporter of it and my mother doesn’t talk about it.

Dan

“I come from a very open and tolerant family,” says Lacy.

“I was lucky in that sense, they love us and they accept.”

However, their non-traditional lifestyle caused some problems for their children.

“Someone told my son at school, so I had to have this conversation with him,” she says.

“I wish he’d found out from me, but he’s in college and there are a number of people who say ‘your mom’s a swinger’.”

“My dad is a real believer in it and my mom doesn’t talk about it,” Dan added.

“She said as long as it’s safe and OK, that’s it and we don’t talk about it.

“We’re really lucky, we have friends who have family members in church who can’t see their parents.

“We were very lucky with our family and their support.”

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